I’ve become more frequently aware of a creature called the…Language Bully. I’ve found very limited resources on the term, so its a fairly new coined Urban-ized phenomena terminology localized to small forums, and distressed abuses such as myself..

The language Bully, the Word-ie, Grammar-Nazi…walking dictionary (you’re aware of these people.) come from several places.

The general Whimsical Know-It all that wants you to pronounce things correctly for the greater good and the ease of communication in the future, or to avoid a potentially awkward Equine husbandry situation. Their intent is not out to create a situation of malice or subjugate you to their mental fortitude.

Uncle jack
Uncle jack

Only understanding.

Generally they know what needs to be said, and their tone or air’e of deep literacy can twist their accent. However they are not to be feared, and too should be treated gently.

Sir Issac Newton was believed to have had Asperger.
Sir Issac Newton was believed to have had Asperger.

Nor the ones born with the awe inspiring, physiologically amazing ability to obtain, retain and recall massive amounts of information as the expense of being the Truth Sayer, the Master Corrector, for it must be done, and the correct Word is law. Sense must be made, balance placed logic in order. These curious creatures, they are not the insidious beast I speak of.


These are folks, the “correctors” the Trolls of the literary word, nibbling on context in the dark recess of their opinions and frustrations.

Those beings who act outwardly in hideous subvert manners towards others when feeling brutish, or trapped, angry or dispelled in their own life’s situation.

They do it for the same reasons a dog scrambling at a fence turns to its long time companion and snaps its jaws against the others muzzle.


To feel better.One way or another.

There is a time an place for correction. Every other sentence is not the moment! I’ve been derailed from deep metaphysical discussions by a point-less pronunciation correction. An entire leading edge though was scrapped to a fellows id.

Its frustrating.


So I look at my life, my speaking style and epic poetry.

I am no means a writer, in fact I was awarded in High School with a floppy disc ( clap if you know what that is!) that read with emblazoned gold ink “Anti-Christo-De Grammar-”

I hardly pretend to be anything by a cynic and a plagiarist of my own ideas.
I can guarantee you right now, there is a ‘word-ie’, a Knight of the Word cringing at my flagrant abuse at grammar, punctuation and use of commas and apprentices.

My quest took me to a dark forest, a place where few seem to have trod. But upon my travels, I did learn several ways to negotiate this abridged-bully.

First: One can dismiss the correction and continue on in their speaking, taking mental note should it have qualified the interruption. (this is for the lesser gnawing beast)

Second: As the challenge arises, so do the needs of repose. One could look to the offender and directly ask them to repeat themselves…again…and one more time for providence sake, and for comedic timing…once more. Some will see your game, others will be true to their intent and insist on the mending of the word. Yield, less it would cause harm.

Third : My favorite,be still the tongue, and run from nothing immortal. If you keep your magic to yourself, the words can not be corrupted against you. A fool can not be judged less he give their court of peers evidence.

Fourth: More abrasive manner, direct thy blade at thine beast and cry…” Shall this battle be long, or may I pass freely over this bridge?!”

“But I am’s what I am’s.”
“Some do, some correct.”

~ A servant of pose…or is it prose…or rose?